Wednesday 26 September 2012

The Sound of the Underground


Well hello. It's been a while but I needed a break to refresh and seek inspiration. Which seems baffling when you read the inane ramblings my blog posts are more renowned for.

Mostly I write about quite minor events in my life and extrapolate them into something vastly more interesting than they actually were, or in some cases more dull than they actually were, but I try. You've got to love a tryer.

That doesn't mean that real life doesn't rumble on in the background. The big things, both good and bad, amazing and devastating, sometimes in the blink of an eye. However I'm not one to rant and rave and make a drama, or at least I try not to, and so here I am with the little things, the inconsequential things I love to write about and remember because life is so fleeting, and the memory so prone to forgetfulness that this is the only way to capture the crazy parts of the day.

That's really about as deep as I get. I hope you enjoyed it.

So, in brief, here are the things I've learnt since the last time we interacted.

1. Cheeky Monkey has a real name. You remember Cheeky Monkey. He's the guy from my last, somewhat unsavoury, post in August. I never doubted he had a real name but I didn't know what it was, or want to know it. Anyway, it's Barry, and on Monday he's making stew, or that's what I overheard. Unless I misheard it and it's Gary and he's meeting Stu, one or the other.

2. It's okay to tap dance on a packed tube train. I watched an unnaturally God-loving chap move swiftly from preaching love to the carriage to suddenly dive into a full Roy Castle inspired tap routine. He even had tap shoes on. I couldn't help but smile, especially as a whole carriage of commuters were desperately trying to ignore him in the way that they do. This does lead me to speculate quite what would inspire a London commuter to look up from their Kindle, or their phones, or their shoes, but I guess you'd have to create quite a commotion.

3. Dithering can be good. My iPhone pinged the other day to tell me I could download a software update. 'Laters', I thought. I need to use my iPhone for far more important things, like checking out the latest trends on Twitter, or identifying what commercial plane is flying over my house, or checking in somewhere on Foursquare to maintain my mayorship of a nearby postbox, all far more important than measly software updates.

By the end of the day I was glad of my indecision when I learned that the new version of the software, iOS6, if it had downloaded at all, would most likely have wiped all my contacts, deleted all my songs, replaced my Facebook profile with that of a 59 year old grandmother from Alabama, posted my photos on the most wanted list on the Interpol website, replace all maps with a rough drawing of a stream and a forest next to the words 'Here be Dragons', and finally explode in my pocket thereby rendering my trousers aflame.

I'm hoping Apple fixes this before I accidentally find myself pressing the wrong button and downloading this iPhone Armageddon. I trust Steve Jobs to sort this out. Sorry, he's what…?

So that's it. Still here. Same old me. 

See you next time?