To all those miseries and killjoys who spent the Christmas period grumbling and griping about tinsel and snowmen and general festivities and fun, all I say to you is, are you happy now?
Are you happy that most people have turned their joyful twinkling lights out? Happy that the house looks bare and empty apart from the stray Christmas present you’d opened on the big day but had since forgotten about and the unopened box of Toffifee (where the hell did that come from??).
Are you happy that you had to do something other than slump in front of the TV to watch an old film you’ve seen a dozen times before, that other something being nothing more exciting that getting yourself up off the sofa and going back to work, crammed on public transport with all those other miserable looking people this morning?
January is the worst month to start a year with. I hate it. It’s still dark all day, we're less forgiving about the cold weather, and I’ve spent far too much cash on topping up the drinks cabinet with expensive spirits which I now feel bad about drinking because I’m supposed to be de-toxing according to so-called 'experts' in the papers.
I guess it’s put there, right at the beginning of the year, to make us all feel like things can only get better.
It’s a long month though. It’s only the 3rd and I’m wishing my life away, praying for February. The mornings don’t even start to try and get lighter until the weekend you know. How rubbish is that?
Of course if you have a birthday in January I’m sure you enjoy it more. A rare splash of colour in an otherwise dark and gloomy month. I would raise a toast to you but according to the news if I don’t stop drinking my ears will explode, or something.
Actually, I’ve just had a thought; I have some Single Malt de-canted. I say de-canted, it’s in a hip flask – don’t ask!! I’m sure it’ll go off if I don’t drink it. In fact it would be downright rude not to. Who needs ears anyway?
Happy (glug, gulp) New Year! Maybe January isn’t going to be that bad after all.
Hic!
No comments:
Post a Comment